A list ofARR tracks that melt me every time I listen to them:
Dil Se (Dil Se)
Ajnabee (Dil Se)
Kurukku Siruthavale (Mudhalvan)
Azhakana Rakshashiye(Mudhalvan)
Mangalyam Thanthuna (Alaipayuthey)
Hey Goodbye Nanba (Ayutha Ezhuthu)
Nenjam elam (Ayutha Ezhuthu)
Newyork nagaram (Sillunu Oru Kadhal)
Suthi Suthi (Padayappa)
Nenjam Elam (Ayutha Ezhuthu)
Radha Kaise na Jale ( Lagaan)
Kadhal Rojave (Roja)
Pudhu Vellai Mazhai (Roja)
Kandukondein Kandukondein (Kandukondein Kandukondein)
Yenga yenadhu kavidhai (Kandukondein Kandukondein)
Athangara Marame (Kizhakku Cheemayile)
Ale Ale (Boyz)
Snehithane (Alaipayuthey)
Idhudhan Kaadhal Enbadha (Pudhiya Mugam)
Katre en vasal (Rhythm)
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Du Maurier's words..
I'm currently in between the pages of the modern classic "Rebecca" by Daphne Du Maurier.
Its a lovely book, as most of the book buffs would know.
While reading the book, i came across a few snippets which I felt, that i must document because they are sooooo beautifully written. I'm amazed at how lucidly she has portrayed the turmoils in the mind of a woman.
Here are some of them:
She is on a long drive with her first love, who is driving. The protagonist, who is the narrator is an innocent young girl who is experiencing the excitement of her first love.For her, every moment is precious.
All I remember is the feel of the leather seats, the texture of the map upon my knee, its frayed edges and how one day, looking at the clock I thought to myself "This moment now, at twenty past eleven must never be lost" and I shut my eyes to make the experience more lasting. When we opened my eyes, we were by a bend in the road, and a peasant girl in a black shawl waved to us; I can see her now,her dusty skirt,her gleaming,friendly smile and in a second we had passed the bend and could see her no more.Already she belonged to the past,she was only a memory.
I wanted to go back again, to recapture the moment that had gone and it came to me that if we did it would not be the same,even the sun would be changed in the sky,casting another shadow and the peasant girl would trudge past us along the road in a different way, not waving this time,perhaps not even seeing us.There was something chilling in that thought, something a little melancholy and looking at the clock, I saw that five more minutes had gone by. Soon we would have reached our time limit.
Im sure these following lines need no explanation. Every woman can relate to them!!
I know I cried that night, bitter youthful tears that could not come from me today. That kind of crying deep into a pillow, does not happen after we are twenty one. The throbbing head, the swollen eyes, the tight, contracted throat. And the wild anxiety in the morning to hide all traces from the world,sponging with cold water, dabbing eu-de-cologne, the furtive dash of powder that is significant in itself.
Under the chestnut tree outside the mansion.
The newly married, young and innocent Mrs.De Winters with her husband Max De Winters and a few other guests resting after lunch. She is very insecure about the new place, new people and being the mistress of a huge mansion. Her only strong emotion is her love for her husband.
I wanted to go on sitting there,not talking, not listening to the others, keeping the moment precious for all time, because we were peaceful, all of us,we were content and drowsy even as the bee who droned above our heads. In a little while, it would be different, there would come tomorrow, and the next day, and another year. And we would be changed perhaps, never sitting quite like this again. Some of us would go away, or suffer, or die; the future stretched away in front of us, unknown, unseen, not perhaps what we wanted, not what we planned. This moment was safe though., this could not be touched. Here, we sat together,Maxim and I, hand-in-hand, and the past and future mattered not at all. This was secure, this funny fragment of time he would never remember, never think about again.He would not hold it sacred; he was talking about cutting down some of the undergrowth in the drive, and Beatrice agreed, interuppting with some suggestion of her own.For them, it was after lunch, a quarter past three on a haphazard afternoon, like any hour, like any day. They did not want to hold it close,imprisoned and secured, as I did. THEY WERE NOT AFRAID.
Its a lovely book, as most of the book buffs would know.
While reading the book, i came across a few snippets which I felt, that i must document because they are sooooo beautifully written. I'm amazed at how lucidly she has portrayed the turmoils in the mind of a woman.
Here are some of them:
She is on a long drive with her first love, who is driving. The protagonist, who is the narrator is an innocent young girl who is experiencing the excitement of her first love.For her, every moment is precious.
All I remember is the feel of the leather seats, the texture of the map upon my knee, its frayed edges and how one day, looking at the clock I thought to myself "This moment now, at twenty past eleven must never be lost" and I shut my eyes to make the experience more lasting. When we opened my eyes, we were by a bend in the road, and a peasant girl in a black shawl waved to us; I can see her now,her dusty skirt,her gleaming,friendly smile and in a second we had passed the bend and could see her no more.Already she belonged to the past,she was only a memory.
I wanted to go back again, to recapture the moment that had gone and it came to me that if we did it would not be the same,even the sun would be changed in the sky,casting another shadow and the peasant girl would trudge past us along the road in a different way, not waving this time,perhaps not even seeing us.There was something chilling in that thought, something a little melancholy and looking at the clock, I saw that five more minutes had gone by. Soon we would have reached our time limit.
Im sure these following lines need no explanation. Every woman can relate to them!!
I know I cried that night, bitter youthful tears that could not come from me today. That kind of crying deep into a pillow, does not happen after we are twenty one. The throbbing head, the swollen eyes, the tight, contracted throat. And the wild anxiety in the morning to hide all traces from the world,sponging with cold water, dabbing eu-de-cologne, the furtive dash of powder that is significant in itself.
Under the chestnut tree outside the mansion.
The newly married, young and innocent Mrs.De Winters with her husband Max De Winters and a few other guests resting after lunch. She is very insecure about the new place, new people and being the mistress of a huge mansion. Her only strong emotion is her love for her husband.
I wanted to go on sitting there,not talking, not listening to the others, keeping the moment precious for all time, because we were peaceful, all of us,we were content and drowsy even as the bee who droned above our heads. In a little while, it would be different, there would come tomorrow, and the next day, and another year. And we would be changed perhaps, never sitting quite like this again. Some of us would go away, or suffer, or die; the future stretched away in front of us, unknown, unseen, not perhaps what we wanted, not what we planned. This moment was safe though., this could not be touched. Here, we sat together,Maxim and I, hand-in-hand, and the past and future mattered not at all. This was secure, this funny fragment of time he would never remember, never think about again.He would not hold it sacred; he was talking about cutting down some of the undergrowth in the drive, and Beatrice agreed, interuppting with some suggestion of her own.For them, it was after lunch, a quarter past three on a haphazard afternoon, like any hour, like any day. They did not want to hold it close,imprisoned and secured, as I did. THEY WERE NOT AFRAID.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Personal space
There is this guy from college who keeps pestering me all the time. He wants to be friends with me. Everytime he pings me when I go online, I shrug him off. Sometimes, I tell him that I would call/ping him back but I never do. I dont think twice about it. Once in a while, which is once in a long long while, I ping him because I feel guilty. He immediately throws backa t me saying that its been ages since i called/mailed him. And I never bother to meet up with him blah blah... It immediately turns me off.
Cant he realise that I donot want to talk to him? And whenever I do, y couldnt he just talk to me for a while, instead of accusing me of not bothering. I dont bother because I dont want to. Is'nt it obvious?? why cant he just take the hint?
I do not want to go into reasons as to why i dont like this person. That is not the central theme of this post. Suffice it to say that he was a bastard to me in college and I have never forgiven him for that, even though he has apologized to me several times after college.
The situation was reversed today. I was at the recieving end of this blast of sarcasm and nonchalant attitude from somebody (not this person) and now, I know how it feels.
I guess, I should have recognized the attitude the first time i was snubbed. The idiot that I'm, I didnt. I had to get the same attitde some 3 times before I realised what was happening.
Its my fault.Its high time I realise that expecting things out of some people is not right.Especially with this person (let me give a name - X), I guess I dont have any bloody right to expect anything. After all, who is X to me? Not too close a friend either.I dont know too much, either, about X. Besides, it wasnt that big a snub that I got.
In spite of all this,my ego is hurt. Somebody snubbing ME? Did X think that I wouldnt recognize the attitude? How many bloody times I have given this attitude to people? I'm not dumb, for God's sake.... I'm mad as hell. Initially, it was directed at X but now it is directed at me.
It makes me think. Am I invading X's personal space? I would hate it if somebody invaded mine. So, maybe this person thinks the same way. I, of all people should realise how frustrating it feels if somebody invades one's personal space. Expecting me to call and asking me y i didnt do this and that and why i didnt bother to are things i HATE to hear. If I want to bother about something/some one, nothing is going to stop me from doing so. And if I dont want to bother, then nothing in this world, least of all listening to cribbings is going to make me bother.I should take a piece of my own advice and... get going..
POORI (I'm talkin to myself now)... STOP IT!! It doesnt matter.... it doesnt matter if this person bothers or not. After all, hav'nt you crossed thro' enough emotional crap to be the person you are now? do u want to take more of this shit? just shrug it off.. it doesnt matter... Nothing matters...
Yes,thats right...... Well..... the game is ON now.....
Cant he realise that I donot want to talk to him? And whenever I do, y couldnt he just talk to me for a while, instead of accusing me of not bothering. I dont bother because I dont want to. Is'nt it obvious?? why cant he just take the hint?
I do not want to go into reasons as to why i dont like this person. That is not the central theme of this post. Suffice it to say that he was a bastard to me in college and I have never forgiven him for that, even though he has apologized to me several times after college.
The situation was reversed today. I was at the recieving end of this blast of sarcasm and nonchalant attitude from somebody (not this person) and now, I know how it feels.
I guess, I should have recognized the attitude the first time i was snubbed. The idiot that I'm, I didnt. I had to get the same attitde some 3 times before I realised what was happening.
Its my fault.Its high time I realise that expecting things out of some people is not right.Especially with this person (let me give a name - X), I guess I dont have any bloody right to expect anything. After all, who is X to me? Not too close a friend either.I dont know too much, either, about X. Besides, it wasnt that big a snub that I got.
In spite of all this,my ego is hurt. Somebody snubbing ME? Did X think that I wouldnt recognize the attitude? How many bloody times I have given this attitude to people? I'm not dumb, for God's sake.... I'm mad as hell. Initially, it was directed at X but now it is directed at me.
It makes me think. Am I invading X's personal space? I would hate it if somebody invaded mine. So, maybe this person thinks the same way. I, of all people should realise how frustrating it feels if somebody invades one's personal space. Expecting me to call and asking me y i didnt do this and that and why i didnt bother to are things i HATE to hear. If I want to bother about something/some one, nothing is going to stop me from doing so. And if I dont want to bother, then nothing in this world, least of all listening to cribbings is going to make me bother.I should take a piece of my own advice and... get going..
POORI (I'm talkin to myself now)... STOP IT!! It doesnt matter.... it doesnt matter if this person bothers or not. After all, hav'nt you crossed thro' enough emotional crap to be the person you are now? do u want to take more of this shit? just shrug it off.. it doesnt matter... Nothing matters...
Yes,thats right...... Well..... the game is ON now.....
Friday, December 15, 2006
Bags, bags.. and more..
I bought yet another bag yesterday...
God! sometimes, I think I should be mad...
I'm sooo crazy after bags.. Any and every kind of bag- Jute bag, leather bad, rubber bag, any damn thing.
I sometimes equate my "bag crazy" feeling with falling in and out of love at first sight.
A typical scenario in all my bag-chasing experiences go like this:
1) I'm walking around in Garuda Mall or forum or Lela Galleria. I see a shop that seels expensive bags. (like High Design, Allen Solly etc)
2) I decide to pass time by bag-watching aka babe-watching. Sometimes, I feel that my feet automatically starts moving towards the bag section in any shop or mall. I guess there is a magnetic South-North pull beween me and bags.
3) I look at a bag and i just fall for it. Its like love at first sight.I decide that we are made for each other. Then I look at its price tag.. it costs 800/-. Oooppsss!!! My conscience starts snipping at me reminding me of the bag I bought 2 weeks back for 700/-.
4) I leave this bag and start window shopping at other bags in the same place.But my eyes go back repeatedly to this one. I decide that this is a bad idea and walk out of the shop looking back at this bag with longingin my eyes.
5)I'm back after an hour or sometimes a day or sometimes even 2 days. This time there is no hesitation. I have already convinced myself that this would be my last bag for a loooong time(which it never is) and that I would cut down on all my expenses after this. After all, this is exactly the kind of bag i was looking out for! Long strap, lots of space..it even has a cute pouch to keep my mobile! and its just the ideal bag for me...I pick up that bag (all the while my conscience is nagging at me, but the nagging is less this time), I pay my 850/- (sighhh.... there goes all the hard-earned money) but I'm soooo happy!
I just counted the number of handbags I have. 23. can you imagine?? Sheeeesh..
I think half of my savings have been lost on handbags...
If somebody (esp, my parents) ask me how much I spent on this handbag, I take care to mention a figure below 400 :)
God! sometimes, I think I should be mad...
I'm sooo crazy after bags.. Any and every kind of bag- Jute bag, leather bad, rubber bag, any damn thing.
I sometimes equate my "bag crazy" feeling with falling in and out of love at first sight.
A typical scenario in all my bag-chasing experiences go like this:
1) I'm walking around in Garuda Mall or forum or Lela Galleria. I see a shop that seels expensive bags. (like High Design, Allen Solly etc)
2) I decide to pass time by bag-watching aka babe-watching. Sometimes, I feel that my feet automatically starts moving towards the bag section in any shop or mall. I guess there is a magnetic South-North pull beween me and bags.
3) I look at a bag and i just fall for it. Its like love at first sight.I decide that we are made for each other. Then I look at its price tag.. it costs 800/-. Oooppsss!!! My conscience starts snipping at me reminding me of the bag I bought 2 weeks back for 700/-.
4) I leave this bag and start window shopping at other bags in the same place.But my eyes go back repeatedly to this one. I decide that this is a bad idea and walk out of the shop looking back at this bag with longingin my eyes.
5)I'm back after an hour or sometimes a day or sometimes even 2 days. This time there is no hesitation. I have already convinced myself that this would be my last bag for a loooong time(which it never is) and that I would cut down on all my expenses after this. After all, this is exactly the kind of bag i was looking out for! Long strap, lots of space..it even has a cute pouch to keep my mobile! and its just the ideal bag for me...I pick up that bag (all the while my conscience is nagging at me, but the nagging is less this time), I pay my 850/- (sighhh.... there goes all the hard-earned money) but I'm soooo happy!
I just counted the number of handbags I have. 23. can you imagine?? Sheeeesh..
I think half of my savings have been lost on handbags...
If somebody (esp, my parents) ask me how much I spent on this handbag, I take care to mention a figure below 400 :)
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Where I want to be...
IIM-K is the most beautiful campus I have ever seen. Located in the outskirts of Calicut on top of 2 adjoining hills, it has a spectacular view from the hostel balconies. U wake up at 4.30AM in the morning to see clouds floating on your balcony. There is absolutely no pollution, the air smells pure and there is a serene atmosphere. You get the feeling of tranquility when you enter there.
The infrastructure is simply superb, equipped with Wi-Fi thoughout the campus. You can sit on the lawn and work on your asignments if you want.
I went into the library at 5AM in the morning as soon as I reached to find people working away on their laptops. A couple of them recognized me from my previous visit and jumped up with a cheerful face. They were all ready to go for a drive at 5 AM after working for the whole night. No complaints and no cribbings.
Breakfast at 8 on a sunday morning has a few students in the mess - My friends and a few other who belong to the rare species of waking up early and going to bed early. Breakfast consists of Aloo parathas, corn flakes, Egg burji, tea/coffee. I enjoyed every morsel of it.
The campus comes alive at around 4PM on Sunday because thats when everybody is awake and deciding what to do about the deadlines for the next day. Even around 6PM, surprisingly the place is comparitively quiet. When I walk near the hostels I can hear loud music from some rooms, but otherwise there is no unruly behavior like UGs. People mind their own business, probably because they dont have time for anything else :)
There is no restiction out there on anything - attendance/reporting time into the hostel. There is even no warden. Girls can get into boys' hostel anytime and vice versa.In spite of all this, not a single unpleasant event has been reported till date.
The guys over here are not geeks, the opposite , in fact. They are ready for fun at any time, any place the only constraint being that there should be no deadline the next day.
Im visibly impressed. This is probably where I want to be, I would give anything for it.
But I'm afraid I might have already screwed up my chances. I can see my vision dimming away each day.
Sometimes, I want to write CAT again , just to have the privilege of studying in a place like this.
But on hindsight, i know this would be a bad idea.
Somethings are just not meant to be, I guess....
The infrastructure is simply superb, equipped with Wi-Fi thoughout the campus. You can sit on the lawn and work on your asignments if you want.
I went into the library at 5AM in the morning as soon as I reached to find people working away on their laptops. A couple of them recognized me from my previous visit and jumped up with a cheerful face. They were all ready to go for a drive at 5 AM after working for the whole night. No complaints and no cribbings.
Breakfast at 8 on a sunday morning has a few students in the mess - My friends and a few other who belong to the rare species of waking up early and going to bed early. Breakfast consists of Aloo parathas, corn flakes, Egg burji, tea/coffee. I enjoyed every morsel of it.
The campus comes alive at around 4PM on Sunday because thats when everybody is awake and deciding what to do about the deadlines for the next day. Even around 6PM, surprisingly the place is comparitively quiet. When I walk near the hostels I can hear loud music from some rooms, but otherwise there is no unruly behavior like UGs. People mind their own business, probably because they dont have time for anything else :)
There is no restiction out there on anything - attendance/reporting time into the hostel. There is even no warden. Girls can get into boys' hostel anytime and vice versa.In spite of all this, not a single unpleasant event has been reported till date.
The guys over here are not geeks, the opposite , in fact. They are ready for fun at any time, any place the only constraint being that there should be no deadline the next day.
Im visibly impressed. This is probably where I want to be, I would give anything for it.
But I'm afraid I might have already screwed up my chances. I can see my vision dimming away each day.
Sometimes, I want to write CAT again , just to have the privilege of studying in a place like this.
But on hindsight, i know this would be a bad idea.
Somethings are just not meant to be, I guess....
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