Forgive but dont forget....

The following is an excerpt from an email that I sent to somebody today:

I too hate email correspondence, but I just realized that I have been sending you stinkers all the time and never a ‘nice’ mail. I’m emailing you now because if I tell u in person 1)I will not end up telling everything that I feel like.You will interrupt me halfway through 2) It wouldn’t have the same effect.

I’m impressed with you. Terribly. Your gesture today has definitely touched MY heart. Your idea is very unique and sweet. But that’s beside the point. The point is that I’m touched by the fact that you have taken so much effort even after all that has happened. If it were anybody else, he wouldn’t have given a second thought to anything of this sort. I don’t think I have ever seen anybody with such large-heartedness. The nicest part is that you are doing it without expecting anything in return, which most people cannot do. I have only seen people who do things, always looking at the possible returns that they would get from that gesture. Or people who do something for somebody special. But never somebody who has done something so nice for a person who betrayed his trust. You make a great difference.

When I think of somebody, one aspect of his character, good or bad, hits my head. This character trait of yours, of forgetting somebody’s betrayals, that too to this extent is what that will hit my head when I think of you. Thinking of you will remind me of this sweet trait of yours, even 4 or 5 years down the line.

The more I get to know somebody, there are some things that I think I should learn from that person. The positive things. I can point out the positive aspects that I would want to emulate from anybody. From you, I would want to learn this. Being sweet to somebody who hasn’t been sweet to you. I really respect and admire you for this. Its something most people, including me cant even think of.

Now-a-days, it has become an “in” thing to give it back to somebody who has done something bad to you. People call us fools if we end up not doing anything about it. But I realize that that is taking the easy way out. It’s always easy to be bad to somebody. The difficult thing to do, is to forgive but NOT forget. The difficult thing is to be good to somebody even after he has been abominably bad to you.

But I really ought to tell you that there is a very negative effect to this quality of yours. It leaves you very open to hurt, because you expect as much as you give and not everybody can do that. Most people wouldn’t even realize your gesture. They would only talk about you as somebody who has no guts to reciprocate the ill-feeling and as somebody who canot stand up to what he feels. It also leaves you open to people taking you for granted and for making you look embarrassed.

Hence please be careful on whom you show your generosity. Not everybody will receive it with the same gesture with which it is done.

Do it only to those who are worth it and who will realize and appreciate your gesture.